Ulmann's Razor: When stupidity is a sufficient explanation, there is no need to have recourse to any other.

Ulme’s Rule: Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.

Underlying Principle of Socio-Genetics: Superiority is recessive.

Universal Equine Equation: At any particular time, there are more horses' asses in the world than horses.

Universal Law for Naive Engineers: The most vital dimension on any plan or drawing
    stands the greatest chance of being omitted.

Universal Law of the Auto Loan: As soon as you finish paying off your car, you will need a new one.

Universal Rule of Committeeship: An original idea can never emerge from committee in its original form.

Urbach's Law: Consistency is always easier to defend than correctness.

Utvich's Law: One accurate measurement is worth a thousand expert opinions.

Vail's Axiom: In any human enterprise, work seeks the lowest hierarchal level.

Valery's Law: History is the science of what never happens twice.
  Rule: A poem is never finished, only abandoned.

Valery's Law: History is the science of what never happens twice.

Van Herpen's Law: The solving of a problem lies in finding the solvers.

Van Gogh's Law: Whatever plan you make, there is a hidden difficulty somewhere.

Van Roy's Laws: 1. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. 
   2. If you can distinguish between good and bad advice, then you don't need advice.
   3. A meeting is no substitute for progress.

Veale’s Baseball Rule: Good pitching will beat good hitting anytime, and vice versa.
Veeck's Law of Baseball: Knowledge of the game is inversely proportional to the price of the seats.

Venter’s First Law: Discoveries made in the field by someone from another discipline will always be upsetting
     to the majority of those inside.

 ver der Byl’s Law: It is better to get nowhere fast than to get nowhere slowly.

Veronica's Rule: The least desirable man in the room is the one who hits on you first.

Vesilind's Laws of Experimentation: 1. If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only once. 
     2. If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points.

Vidal's advice: Never have children, only grandchildren.

Vile's Law for Educators: No one is listening until you make a mistake. 
  Law of Advanced Linesmanship: 1. If you're running for a short line, it suddenly becomes a long line. 
     2. When you're waiting in a long line, the people behind you are shunted to a new, short line. 
     3. If you step out of a short line for a second, it becomes a long line. 
     4. If you're in a short line, the people in front let in their friends and relatives and make it a long line. 
     5. A short line outside a building becomes a long line inside. 
     6. If you stand in one place long enough, you make a line. 
  Law of Communication: No one is listening until you make a mistake. 
  Law of Grading Papers: All papers after the top are upside down or backwards, until you right the pile.
         Then the process repeats. 
  Law of Roadmanship: Your own car uses more gas and oil than anyone else's. 
  Law of Value: The more an item costs, the farther you have to send it for repairs.

Vique's Law: A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle.

Voltaire's Charity Principle: The one who leaves money to charity in his will is only giving away what no longer belongs to him. 
  Maxim: A witty saying proves nothing. 
  Law: There is nothing more respectable than an ancient evil.
  Principle: It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong. Rule: A long dispute means both parties are wrong.

Von Braun's Advice: I have learned to use the word "impossible" with the greatest caution. 
  Credo: Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

Von Neumann's Axiom: There's no sense in being precise when you don't know what you are talking about.
  Rule: In mathematics you don't understand things. You just get used to them.

W. C. Field's Maxim: Start off every day with a smile and get it over with.
   Observation: Horse sense is the thing a horse has, which keeps it from betting on people.

W. S. Gilbert’s Decree: Man is Nature’s sole mistake.

Wagner's Law of Sports Coverage: When the camera isolates on a male athlete, he will spit, pick or scratch.

Walder's Observation: A mathematician is one who is willing to assume everything except responsibility.

Waldrop's Principle: The person not here is the one working on the problem.

Walker's Law: Urgency varies inversely with value. 
  Law of the Household: There is always more dirty laundry than clean laundry. Clive's Rebuttal: If it's clean, it isn't laundry.

Waldrop’s Principle: The person not here is the one working on the problem.

Wallace's Observation: Everything is in a state of utter dishevelment.

Wallace Wood's Rule of Drawing: 1. Never draw up what you can copy. 
   2. Never copy what you can trace. 
   3. Never trace what you can cut out and paste down.

Walter’s Law: Success is more permanent when you achieve it without destroying your principles.

Walton's Law of Politics: A fool and his money are soon elected.

Wandstadt's Airline Baggage Principle: Carry-on luggage is always two inches larger
    than the under-seat area available for its storage.

Warner's First Law of Talent: Just because you can do it doesn't mean you can do it for a living.

Warren's Rule: To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.

Washlesky's Law: Anything is easier to take apart than to put together.

Watson's Law: The reliability of machinery is inversely proportional to the number and significance of any people watching it.

Wayne's Law: Nobody notices big errors.

Weatherwax's Postulate: The degree to which you overreact to information will be in inverse proportion to its accuracy.

Weaver's Law: When several reporters share a cab on an assignment, the reporter in the front seat pays for all.
   Doyle's Corollary: No matter how many reporters share a cab, and no matter who pays,
           each puts the full fare an his own expense account

Weber's Definition: An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less
      until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
  Maxim: A single fact can spoil a good argument.

Webster’s Insurance Law: Damage rarely exceeds the deductible.

Weiler's Law: Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.

Weinberg's Corollary: An expert is a person who avoids the small errors while sweeping on the grand fallacy.  
  Laws: 1. Progress is made on alternate Fridays. 
         2. If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs,
                  then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.

Weller' Rule for Bureaucratic Funding: Never admit that you activity has sufficient staff, space, or budget.

Wellington's Law of Command: The cream rises to the top. So does the scum.

Welwood's Axiom: Disorder expands proportionately to the tolerance for it.

Wendell's Warning: Just because it's easy doesn't mean it won't be done wrong.

West’s Observation: To err is human, but if feels divine.

Westheimer's Discovery: A couple of months in a laboratory can frequently save a couple of hours in the library.
  Rule: To estimate the time it takes to do a task, estimate the time you think it should take,
     multiply by two and change the unit of measure to the next highest unit. Thus we allocate two days for a one-hour task.

Wethern's Law of Suspended Judgment: Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.

Wexford's Law: In a two-car family, the wife always has the smaller car.
   Berris's Exception: If the husband wants a giant off-road vehicle, the wife will have to drive it during the week.

Whistler's Law: You never know who's right, but you always know who's in charge.
   Hooker' Corollary: Knowledge is no prerequisite for authority.

White's Chappaquidick Theorem: The sooner and in more detail you announce the bad news, the better.
    Byrd's Addition to Owen's Commentary on White's Statement: ... and they want to avoid a lengthy search.
  Law: We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.

Whitehead's Lemma: Civilization advances by extending the number of important operations that we can perform
      without thinking about them.
  Rule: Seek simplicity, and distrust it.

Whithorn’s Rule: Never talk about money with people who have much more or much less than you.

Whitney's Rule of School Districts: Good students move away. New students come from schools that do not teach anything.

Whittington's First Law of Communication: When a writer prepares a manuscript on a subject he does not understand,
     his work will be only understood by readers who know more about that subject than he does. Corollary: Writings prepared
     without understanding must fail in the first objective of communication - informing the uninformed.

Whittons's Law of the Sexes: Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be half as good.
    Luckily this is not difficult.

Wicker's Law: Government expands to absorb revenue and then some.

Wilde on Advice: The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself. 
  on America: America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between.               
  on Man and God: God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
  's Theory: Only the shallow know themselves.

Wilkie's Law: A good slogan can stop analysis for fifty years.

William James’s Rule: A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices.

William's Query: If a husband speaks deep in the forest and his wife isn't there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Williams and Holland's Law: If enough data is collected, anything may be proven by statistical methods.

Willoughby's Law: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Wilson's Law: A person's rank is inverse relation to the speed of his speech. 
  Law of Politics: If you want to make enemies, try to change something.

Winchell’s Rule: Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves nothing unsaid.

Wincorn's Law: There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.

Winfield's Dictum of Direction-Giving: The likelihood of getting lost is directly proportional to the number of times
    the direction giver says, "You can't miss it."

Winger's Rule: If it sits on your desk for 15 minutes, you've just become the expert.

Wingfield's Axiom: Accuracy is the sum total of your compensating mistakes.

Wingo's Axiom: All Finagle Laws may be bypassed by learning the simple art of doing without thinking.

Wise Fan's Lament: Fools rush in - and get the best seats.

Witten's Law: Whenever you cut your fingernails you will find a need for them an hour later.

Witzling's Laws of Progeny Performance: 1. Any child who chatters non-stop at home will adamantly refuse
         to utter a word when requested to demonstrate for an audience. 
  2. Any shy, introverted child will choose a crowded public area
        to loudly demonstrate newly acquired vocabulary (damn, penis etc.).

Wolf's Law: Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows
  Law of Planning: A good place to start from is where you are.

Wolinski's Law: Teamwork is wasting half of one's time explaining to others why they are wrong.

Wolter's Law: If you have the time you won't have the money. If you have the money, you won't have the time.

Wooden's Rule: Don't let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do

Woodington's Law of Gifts: The toy with the most potential for driving you crazy will become your child's favorite.

Woodside's Grocery Principle: The bag that breaks is the one with the eggs.

Worker's Dilemma: 1. No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough. 
   2. What you don't do is always more important than what you do do.

Wright's First Law of Quality: Quality is inversely proportional to the time left for completion of the project. 
  Law: A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his client to plant vines.
  Rule: Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Wynne's Law: Negative slack tends to increase.

Wyszowski's Laws: 1. No experiment is reproducible. 
     2. Anything can be made to work if you fiddle with it long enough.

Yasenek's Observation: Kissing is a means of getting two people so close together
    that they can't see anything wrong with each other.

Yeager's Law: Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle.
   Corollaries: 1. All breakdowns occur on the plumber's day off.  2. Cost of repair can be determined
              by multiplying the cost of your new coat by 1.75, or by multiplying the cost of a new washer by 0.75.

Yellin's Law: The probability of winning the lottery is slightly greater if you buy a ticket.
  Theater Law: The tallest person in the audience will sit down in front of you only after it is too late for you
      to find another seat.

Yogi Berra's Advice: When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

Young's Comment on Scientific Methods: You can't get here from there. 
  Laws: 1. All great discoveries are made by mistake. Corollary: The greater the funding, the longer it takes to make the mistake. 
        2. It is the dead wood that holds up the tree. Corollary: Just because it is still standing, doesn't mean it is not dead. 
        3. It is when you trip over your own shoes that you start picking up shoes.
   Law on Bureaucracy: It is the dead wood that holds the tree. Corollary: Just because it is still standing
           doesn’t mean it’s not dead 
  Law of Inanimate Mobility: All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way. 
  Principle on Emergent Individuation: Everybody wants to peel his own banana.
  Rule of Argument: They can't agree with you if you don't agree with them. 
  Rule of Delegation: When moving a pregnant cat, pick up the cat and let her take care of the kittens.

Yount's Laws of Mail Ordering: 1. The most important item in an order will no longer be available. 
       2. The next most important item will be back-ordered for six months. 
       3. During the time an item is back-ordered, it will be available cheaper and quicker from many other sources. 
       4. As soon as a back-order has entered the "no longer available" category,
               the item will no longer be obtainable anywhere at any price.

Yuri's Rule: Tell the truth and run.

Zaha's Law of Topology: The shortest distance between two points is a downward spiral.

Zadra's Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Zappa's Law: There are two things on earth that are universal: hydrogen et stupidity.

Zeilinger’s Fundamental Law: There is no Fundamental Law.

Zelman's Dilemma: By the time you have it figured out, they change it. 
  Rule of Radio Reception: The only station your pocket radio won't pick up is the one you want to hear most.

Ziarko's Enigma: Paint applied according to the manufacture's instructions lasts three months. A drop on your shoe lasts forever.

Ziggy's Law: Do a little more each day than everyone expects and soon everyone will expect more.

Zymurgy's First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics: Once you open a can of worms,
       the only way to recan them is to use a larger can.
     Kaiser's Comment on Zymurgy: Never open a can of worms unless you plan to go fishing. 
  Law of Volunteer Labor: People are always available for work in the past tense. 
  Seventh Exception to Murphy's Law: When it rains, it pours.