Salk's Law: The secret to happiness is to rely on as few other people as possible.

Samuel’s Law: A friend in need is a friend to be avoided.

Sandiland's Law: Free time that unexpectedly becomes available will be wasted.

Sandy's Comment: It makes sense, when you don't think about it.

Sanrio's First Rule of Government Programs: A bureaucratic program that does not work
    stands the best chance of being expanded. 
  Primary Rule of Bureaucratic Funding (also known as The Serve Thyself Solution): The first expenditure
    of new revenue available to a bureaucratic agency will be used for the expansion of the administration of the program

     rather than for the needs of the program itself.

Santayana's Laws: 1. Sanity is madness put to good use.
     2. When men and women agree, it is only in their conclusions. Their reasons are always different.
  Observation: Fanatism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have forgotten your aim.
  Coleman's Comment on Santayana: Those who fail to learn from the past are condemned to repeat history class.

Sapolsky’s Third Law: Often, the biggest impediment to scientific progress is not what we don’t know, but what we know.

Sarah's Law: You never begin your summer romance until the last day of summer.

Satre's Observation: Hell is others.

Sattinger's Discovery: It works better if you plug it in.

Sauget's Law: Sit at the feet of the master long enough and they start to smell.

Saul's Law: When fastening down something held by several screws, don't tighten any of them until they are all in place.

Savage's Law: A leak in the roof is never in the same location as the drip.

Savignano's Deco Mail-Order Law: If you don't write to complain, you'll never receive your order.
    If you do write, you'll receive the merchandise before your angry letter reaches its destination.

Say's Law: Supply creates its own demand.

Scanlan’s Law: Wedding presents always come in pairs: two toasters, two blenders, two umbrella stands.

Schaaf's Law of Online Research: Any quote found twice on the internet will have two different wordings, attributions or both.    Corollary: If the wording and source are consistent in two places, they are both wrong.

Schiller's Law of Contracts: Every point clarified creates two unclarified points.

Schmidt's Guide to Art: Sculpture is what you bump into when  when you back up to look at a painting. 
  Laws: 1. If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break. 
       2. If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in catastrophe, the someone will do it.

Schnatterly's Summing Up of the Corollaries: If anything can't go wrong, it will.

Schopenhauer's Law of Entropy: If you put a spoonful of wine in a barrel full of sewage, you get sewage.
    If you put a spoonful of sewage in a barrel full of wine, you get sewage.

Schrank's First Law: If is doesn't work, expand it.
   Corollary: The greater the magnitude, the less notice will be taken that it does not work.

Schripton's Law of Teenage Opportunity: When opportunity knocks, you've got headphones on.

Schroeder's Law: Indecision is the basis for flexibility.

Schulman’s First Law: Books will exceed book shelving.

Schweitzer’s Rule: As we acquire more knowledge, things do not become more comprehensible but more mysterious.

Schyer's Law of Relativity for Programmers: If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.

Scott's Dictum: A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.  
  Laws: 1. No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right. 
        2. When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place. Corollary:
           After the correction has been found in error, it will be impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation. 
  Law of Business: Never walk down a hallway in an office building without a piece of paper in your hand.
  Law of Copiers: The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance.

Seacord's Rule of Relativity: The only thing on Earth that works every time is gravity.

Seay's Law: Nothing ever comes out as planned.

Secondary Rule of Returns and Rebates: A mail-in rebate not mailed within 24 hours of purchasing the product
    will never be mailed.

Second Law of Applied Confusion: After adding two weeks to the schedule for unexpected delays,
    add two more for the unexpected, unexpected delays.

Second Law of Business Meetings: If there are two possible ways to spell a person’s name, you will pick the wrong spelling

Second Law of Child and Husband Behavior: That which is taken out is never put back.

Second Law of Engineering: Any error in a calculation will be in the direction of most harm.
   Corollary: If more than one person is responsible for a miscalculation, no one will be at fault.

Second Law of Governing Deliveries: Only defective parts are delivered on time.

Second Law of Hiking: The weight of the backpack increases in spite of the amount of food you consume from it.

Second Law of Kitchen Confusion: The simpler the instructions (for example "Press here"),
    the more difficult it will be to open the package.

Second Law of Particle Physics: The basic building blocks of matter do not occur in nature.

Second Law of Revision: The more innocuous the modification appears to be, the further its influence will extend,
    and the more plans will have to be redrawn.

Second Law of the IRS: The audit is for the year in which you didn't keep all you receipts.

Second Law of the Corporation: Any action for which there is no logical explanation will be deemed "company policy".

Second Law of the Insured: The problem occurs one month after the insurance is canceled or allowed to lapse.

Second Law of the Workshop: You can always find three nuts to fit the four screws you need.

Second Rule of Bureaucratic Systems: Once established, an administrative support office will expand
    to require a budget in excess of the budget allocated for the office being supported.

Second Rule of Corporate Success: No job is impossible for the manager who can delegate.

Second Truth of Management: No executives devote effort to providing themselves wrong.

Second Workshop Principle: Most projects require three hands.

Seeger's Law: Anything in parentheses can be ignored.

Segal's Law: A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

Seits' Law of Higher Education: The one course you must take to graduate will not be offered during your last semester.

Selig's Law of Groceries: If you want to eat something on the way home from the market,
    it will be buried on the bottom of the bag.

Sendak's Soliloquy: There must be more to life than having anything.

Sevareid's Law: The chief cause of problems is solutions.

Seventh Law Governing Holiday Gifts: A battery-operated toy will require the one size of battery you don't have.

Seventh Law of Kitchen Confusion: The more time and energy you put into preparing a meal,
    the greater the chance your guests will spend the entire meal discussing other meals they have had.

Seventh Law of Product Design: No problem is so large that it can't be fit in somewhere.

Seymour's Investment Principle: Never invest in anything that eats.

Shanahan's Law: The length of a meeting rises with the square of the number of people present.

Shand's Law: The more efficiently a project is done, the greater the chance it will have to be undone.

Shanebrook's Law: If you do the job twice, it's yours.

Shaddow's Law: An unprecedented streak of good weather will be interrupted by rain on your day off.

Shaffer's Law: The effectiveness of a politician varies in inverse proportion to his commitment to principle.

Shapiro's Law of Reward: The one who does the least work will get the most credit.

Shaw's Dictum: Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough. 
  Maxim: Virtue is insufficient temptation.
  Observation: The reasonable man adapts himself to the world. The unreasonable man persists in trying
     to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
  On Sports: If players were armed with guns, there wouldn’t be stadiums large enough to hold the crowds.
  Political Principle: A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

Shedenhelm's Law of Backpacking: All trails have more uphill sections than they have level or downhill sections.

Sherman's Rule of Press Conferences: The explanation of a disaster will be made by a stand-in.

Shipper's Law of air travel: Aircraft rest rooms remain vacant only while you have no need to use them.

Shirley's Law: Most people deserve each other.

Shoen's Bureaucratic Principles: 1. If a department can complete the program in the time frame scheduled,
         the cost will be prohibitive. 
   2. If a department can complete the program within the budget, some deadline will be missed.

Sid's Law: You can't win them all if you don't win the first one.

Sigstad's Law: When it gets to be your turn, they change the rules.

Silverman's Paradox: If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.

Silver's Law of Doctoring: It never heals correctly.

Simon's Law: Everything put together falls apart sooner or later. 
  Law of Destiny: Glory may be fleeting, but obscurity is forever. 
  Rule of Auto Repair Shops: Ask if there's a problem and there will be.

Simonson’s Law: Any event, once it has occurred, can make to appear inevitable by a competent historian.

Simpson's Rule of Law: If the facts are against you, argue the law. If the law is against you, argue the facts.
    If the facts and the law are against you, yell like hell.

Simson's Rule of Destiny: Glory may be fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

Sinclair’s Rule: It’s difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not    understanding it.

Sinteto's First Law of Consumerism: A 60-day warranty guarantees that the product will self-destruct on the 61st day.
  Rule of Negative Anticipation: You will save yourself a lot of needless worry
    if you don’t burn your bridges until you come to them.

Sir Walter's Law: The tendency of smoke from a cigarette, barbecue, campfire, etc. to drift into a person's face
    varies directly with that person's sensitivity to smoke.

Siwiak's Rule: The only way to make something foolproof is to keep it away from fools.

Sixth Law of Government Projects: Whether or not a program expands or contracts, administrative overhead increases.

Sixth Law of Kitchen Confusion: The one ingredient you made a special trip to the store to get
    will be the one thing your guest is allergic to.

Skinner’s Constant: That quantity, which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to,
      or subtracted from the answer you get, gives you the answer you should have gotten.
  Law: The real problem is not whether machines think, but whether people do.

Skoff's Law: A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

Sloan's Law: The changes in new models should be so attractive as to create dissatisfaction with past models.

Slous's Law: If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.

Smith's Law: No real problem has a solution. 
  Laws of Bridge: 1. If your hand contains a singleton or a void, that is the suit your partner will bid...and bid...and bid.... 
    2. If your hand contains the K, J, 9 of diamonds and the Ace of spades, when the dummy is spread to your left
           it will contain A, Q, 10 of diamonds and the King of spades. 
    3. The trump suit never breaks favorably when you are declarer. 
  Law of Computer Repair: Access holes will be ½" too small. Corollary: Holes that are the right will be in the wrong place.. 
  No-Win Rules for Commercial Artists: 1. If the client approves the sketch,
           changes will be asked for after the color rendering. 
    2. If the color rendering is approved, changes will be asked for in the finished art. 
    3. After the finished art is approved and sent to the printer, someone will suggest a change
         that "probably should have" been made.
  Rules: 1. There is equal credit in being criticized by fools than praised by the wise. 
    2. When there are two conflicting versions of the story, the wise course is to believe the one
           in which people appear to be worst.

Smolik’s Rule: A politician will always be there when he needs you.

Snider's Law: Nothing can be done in one trip.

Soares's Law of Workplace Climatology: Repair of the heating system signals the onset of warmer weather.

Sociology's Iron Law of Oligarchy: In every organized activity, no matter the sphere, a small number will become the oligarchical leaders and the others will follow.

Sodd's Laws: 1. When a person attempts a task, he or she will be thwarted in that task by the unconscious intervention
    of some other presence (animate or inanimate). Nevertheless, some tasks are completed,
    since the intervening presence is itself attempting a task and is, of course, subject to interference. 
   2. Sooner or later, the worst possible set of circumstances is bound to occur. Corollary: Any system must be designed
    to withstand the worst possible set of circumstances.

Solley’s Law: The final test of fame is to have crazy person imagine he is you.

Solomon’s Solution: Always provide your adversary two options, one of which is much worse than the one you are seeking.

Soper' Law: Any bureaucracy reorganized to enhance efficiency is immediately indistinguishable from its predecessor.

Sophocles' Comment: A short saying oft contains much wisdom. Souder's Law: Repetition does not establish validity.

Spanish Proverb: What was hard to endure is sweet to recall.

Spark's Ten Rules for the Project Manager: 1. Strive to Look tremendously important. 
  2. Attempt to be seen with important people. 
  3. Speak with authority; however, only expound on the obvious and proven facts. 
  4. Don't engage in arguments, but if cornered, ask an irrelevant question and lean back with a satisfied grin
        while your opponent tries to figure out what's going on - then quickly change the subject. 
  5. Listen intently while others are arguing the problem. Pounce an a trite statement and bury them with it. 
  6. If a subordinate asks you a pertinent question, look at him as if he had lost his senses.
       When he looks down, paraphrase the question back at him.  
  7. Obtain a brilliant assignment, but keep of sight and out of the limelight. 
  8. Walk at a fast pace when out of the office - this keeps questions from subordinates and superiors at a minimum. 
  9. Always keep the Office door closed. This puts visitors an the defensive and also makes it look
       as if you are always in an important conference.  
 10. Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a "Pearl Harbor File."

Special Law: The workbench is always less tidy than last time.

Speegel's Packaging Principle: If the toy box cautions "Some Assembly Required", it means a lot of assembly is required.

Spelman’s Stationary Dynamics: Paper multiplies; pens disappear.

Spencer's Law of Accountancy: 1. Trial balances don't. 2. Working capital doesn't. 3. Liquidity tends to run out.
    4. Return on investment won't. 
Law of Data: 1. Anyone can make a decision, given enough facts. 2. A good manager can make a decision without enough facts.
      3. A perfect manager can operate in perfect ignorance.

Spinola's Budget Principle: A budget is just a matter of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterwards.

Sprecht's Rule of Law: Under any conditions anywhere, whatever you are doing,
    there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.

Sprinkle's Law: Things always fall at right angles.

Spruance's Luncheon Law: the person who suggests splitting the bill evenly is always the person
    who ordered the most expensive meal.

Sry's Law: If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway [also Lowery's Law].

Stackmayer's Theorem: If it looks easy, it's tough. If it looks tough, it's damn well impossible.

Stalin’s Statement: A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.

Steele's Plagiarism of Somebody's Philosophy: Everybody should believe in something - I believe I'll have another drink.

Steinbach's Guideline for Systems Programming: Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

Steinem's Dictum: A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

Steiner's Postulates: 1. In business, as well as in chess, the winner is the one who makes the next-to-last mistake. 
       2. At business meetings, the one unmatched asset is the ability to yawn with your mouth closed. 
       3. Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. 
       4. Trivial matters take up more time because we know more about them than important matters.        
  Observation: Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative. 
  Precepts: 1. Knowledge based on external evidence is unreliable. 
             2. Logic can never decide what is possible or impossible.

Steinmetz’s Principle: No man becomes a fool until he stops asking questions.

Stenderup's Law: The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.

Sten's Axiom: No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.

Stephen's Rule of Genetics: If a child looks like his father, that's heredity. If he looks like a neighbour, that's environment.

Stettner's Food Law: The more you enjoy something, the worse it is for you.

Stevenson's Law: The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

Stewart's Murphy Corollaries: 1. Murphy's Law may be delayed or suspended for an indefinite period of time,
          provided that such delay or suspension will result in a greater catastrophe at a later date. 
   2. The magnitude of the catastrophe is directly proportional to the number of people watching. 
   3. The magnitude of the catastrophe is exponentially proportional to the importance of the occasion.
   4. If an outcome has a 50% chance of occurring, its actual probability of happening is inversely proportional
         to the desirability of the outcome.
   5. If two corollaries of Murphy's Law contradict each other,
         the one with the greater potential for damage takes precedence.         
  Law of Retroaction: It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

Stitzer's Vacation Principle: When packing for a vacation, take half as much clothing and twice as much money.

Stockmayer's Theorem: If it looks easy, it's tough. If it looks tough, it's damn well impossible.

Stoeker’s Lemma: If your time ain’t come, not even a doctor can kill you.

Stoppard’s Rule: Age is a high price to pay for maturity.

Storman's Law: An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.

Storry's Principle of Criminal Indictment: The degree of guilt is directly proportional to the intensity of the denial.

Strogatz’s First Law of Doing Math: When you’re trying to prove something, it helps to know it’s true.

Strano's Law: When all else fails, try the boss's suggestion.

Strong’s Law: A friend is always happy about your success – as long as it doesn’t surpass his own.
  Observation: After you have heard two eyewitness accounts of an auto accident you begin to worry about history

Sturgeon's Law: 90% of everything is crud.

Sullivan's Lemma: Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Susana's Law: Every recipe includes one ingredient that you do not have in your kitchen.
   Corollary: If the ingredient is essential, your grocer will be out of stock.

Sussman's Artwork Principle: The cost of framing exceeds the cost of the art.
   Corollary: People who bargain over the price of the art will not bargain over the price charged by the framer.

Sutin's Second Law: The most useless computer tasks are the most fun to do.

Svent-Gyorgyi’s Axiom: Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.

Sweeney's Law: The length of a progress report is inversely proportional to the amount of progress.

Swipple' Rule of Order: He who shouts loudest has the floor.

Sy's Law of Science: Sometimes it takes several years to recognize the obvious.

Syrus's First Axiom: A witty saying proofs nothing.
  Second Axiom: Not every question deserves an answer.
  Leadership Principle: Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.